life

So life is essentially work, sleep and pursuit of happiness. If you're lucky, you'll find it. Now, if you don't believe that life is precious, that you're here but your existence is insignificant, that there's no such thing as a soul or reincarnation or anything; once you're dead, that's it, you're dead. The world won't change significantly and you won't know the difference because, well, you're dead. Then what is the point of life? I mean, what's the point of working and working and working in hopes of one day finding the all so elusive "happiness?" Seriously. You live life in hopes of finding happiness and for some it happens. They find happiness. But if you don't or if you're still looking, and you believe all those things (basically that life has no purpose because we are ultimately insignificant), then what's the point of living? I mean, I'm not saying "life is meaningless, go jump off a cliff," but just, what is the point? I reckon for many it's that you don't want to hurt those around you which is a perfectly good and legitimate reason to not jump off a bridge; however, that fails to answer the question, what's the point of life? I've just been pondering this question more and more the last few years. I really don't have an answer besides the pursuit of happiness, but if you won't know the difference once you're dead then what's the point of that pursuit in the first place when, it seems, many of us will never find it? I really don't know.

Disclaimer: In no way, shape, or form am I contemplating jumping off a bridge.

one class

Good lord one class makes a huge difference. EVERYONE was behind on Tuesday. I don't think this happened once last semester, but we didn't have a day with three classes last semester. Apparently, it caught everyone by surprise. Good thing is I'm about caught up now. And I've learned my lesson. Read for Tuesday on the weekend. I did last week, but apparently not enough. Other than that, nothing significant I guess. Well, nothing significant in school really. Except I'm confused as hell in a good number of classes. Hopefully that'll pass.

In other news. I got a job for the summer. Sort of. It's not 100% yet, but I think it's about 99%. I just have to call back in a few months for a background check and stuff. I'm pretty sure I'll pass, I don't think a "major" speeding ticket will be held against me ;p.

So what else is new? I guess njkg news (just to get a little personal). Not too sure what the hell is going through her head. I definitely don't think it's just me anymore. Didn't see her for, eh, a half a week and it seemed like she wanted to see me. Apparently when we finally met up we "gravitated" towards one another. I didn't notice it, but, in retrospect, I guess it's not exactly inaccurate. All I know is I got damn near nothing done in the 3 or 4 hours we were together. Whatever. Whatever happens happens. Now off to read more con law.

first week #2

Hmm, first week of law school. Yet again. Sadly I think I'm off to a worse start this semester than I was last semester. It's like my brain went through a brain fart during the break and I just can't focus. Well, I guess it's good that it's getting a little better now. I fell a little behind, but nothing too horrible. I TRIED so hard to pay attention in crim. I really really did. I just couldn't. Other than that, things are going more or less as expected. I guess. Except the concentration and reading part. I thought it would be easier this time around. It's not. Maybe it is the increased workload. I'm not so sure. Whatever, I'm a little behind in crim, that's not so bad. The case should be a quick read even though it's freaking long.

Moving on. So I decided this week to try to distance myself from njkg a little bit. I mean, I really don't want to get any more attached than I already am considering that she's taken and all. So far, if I had to put a success rate on it on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being successful) I'd give it a 2. I thought I was at the 7 or 8 range, then she called me today. Actually, she IMed me first and said good bye. So I thought ok, good bye. Then 30 seconds later I get a call. Hmm, quite out of the ordinary for her. So yea, sadly, that made my day. Probably because I didn't see her today and didn't expect to talk to her (since I wasn't planning on calling her). So yea, I went from feeling like a 7 or 8 right on down to a 2. I'm so freaking gullible. I get sucked in way too easily.

Hmm, what else is going on? I decided, finally, that I'm gonna try to quit smoking. Seriously. I've said it like a million times since school started, but I actually do mean it this time. I'm off to an ok start. I think it helps a lot that I actually have different motivation for it this time. Namely, njkg. She's not super anti-smoking, but she sure as hell ain't a huge proponent of it. Yea yea, getting distanced from her and I go and quit for her. Well, in all honesty, she's a good reason for me to quit and it's a good opportunity for me to do so. God knows when's the next time I'd want to/be willing to quit for a girl. I sure as hell won't do it just for myself. I'm really just using her as an excuse to do it for myself.

Alright, that's all I have for now. I guess I'll have to post more later.

Oh, and buying books online? TOTALLY worth it. Like, TOTALLY (and yes, valley girl voice and all).

back at it

Drama. Second semester hasn't even started yet and already the high school drama has started. Yes, all during one weekend in Vegas. I won't be going into details that don't particularly involve myself, but drama. Seriously. Law school, high school called. They want their drama back.

So yea, the weekend in Vegas was quite eventful considering it was only about three and a half days. I can't believe I just spelled out three and a half. And there I go again. Anyways. Saving money will be easier since I don't have much of a choice now (again, thanks Vegas ;p). Also learned some stuff about some people. Sadly, a lot of it was not in the good territory.

Now, about njkg. I don't know. She did some stuff that bothered me this weekend and before this weekend I assumed we were just friends and she saw it that way. Now, I'm not too sure. First, there was the "assumption" everyone had that she was to have shotgun. When one of my best friends who came along later started taking shotgun, it was soon challenged. She sat in the front and said nothing but supposedly shot him an "I dare you to challenge me" look. Second, I've NEVER had a girl that mad at me for being on the phone while I was with them except when I was with the ex, and even with the ex it hardly ever happened. And her checking up on me at 5 in the morning? That was nice. Psh, whatever. She's taken and that's all I know for sure. Maybe she feels a little more but can't do anything either, maybe not. Either way, I've not felt that our relationship was a strictly platonic one for months. I guess we'll find out. Oh and I also think about her more now than I ever had before. Oh yea, and it's also starting to bother me a little when I hear her talk about the bf and it's never bothered me very much at all until this weekend. WTF.

Now, back to school. Con law book? Huge. And by "[h]uge" I mean HUGE. Seriously. It's about as big as my contracts and crim book put together. And based on the reading assignments we've already gotten for the first days of class, this semester will not be an easy one. There's just SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much stuff to read it's like "are you kidding????" Oh well, we'll see what happens. Still waiting for grades to come out, but I really do want to/should work harder this semester. Hopefully the saving money part will aid in those efforts also.

Alright, time to go back to work. Namely, reading and work on the resume.

ATTENTION:

ATTENTION: To all you drivers out there. Thank you for signaling to let me know you are about to switch lanes; however, please do not bother doing so when you are already halfway into my lane. I appreciate the effort to give me a "warning," but it fails to be so if my first warning is when you are already in the lane by the time you decide to signal. I appreciate the effort. Lord knows I certainly don't put in said effort most of the times, but the effort is wasted when my first warning is after you already halfway into the lane. Thank you.

In other news:
Snowboarding was good.
Back in San Diego.
Going to Vegas in the morning.
Njkg is crashing here for the night (I'd like to emphasize innocently).
I got every book I need for the semester except the book for the class where the assignment has already been posted.
I'm going to sleep now.

another week...well, another week...

What happened this week? Again, nothing much. Went snowboarding. Sadly, I don't remember exactly when. Oh yea! It was New Years Eve! I just didn't post about it last time for whatever reason. It was a good day with the snow at Big Bear what you'd expect. Namely: man-made. I only remember because it made the buddies tired and they all ended up wanting to do nothing. So there my ass was New Years Eve, passing out before midnight.

Going up to Big Bear again today. But not riding until tomorrow. I get to watch the BCS Championship game in Bear. That'll be a new one. Should be a good day tomorrow too. Knock on wood.

So yea, I though I was getting over njkg (the new one). Then she calls and it's all back. And now it's getting closer to when I'd see her again so I'm looking forward to that. Quit wierd. I've never had a girl whom I've though about this much and yet am iffy as to whether or not I actually want to date her if I get the chance (namely: if she become single). Eh, well, either way, she's a good distraction and someone I can have fun with.

Yesterday was good. Played basketball for the first time in, oh, I don't know, three or four years? Conclusions? I can't shoot (but I already knew that). I'm not that big a guy, but big enough to use my body against my buddies. Just bump my way into the inside and find a way to shoot so that they can't block me since, well, I was the shortest one there. LOL. It actually worked.

It's time to pack up to get ready to go back to SD. I want to get back tomorrow night (as opposed to Wed. morning) so hopefully I won't be too tired to drive after a day of riding. We'll see I guess.

Since I just saw it on SportsCenter, I'll bring it up. I LOVED that Boise State game. I forget exactly which bowl it was, but it was the one against Oklahoma. The hook and ladder: awsome. The Statue of Liberty: brilliant. Its brilliance was only highlighted by the fact that they decided to go for the win and not a second OT. Of course I also think that they couldn't win in OT otherwise. Whatever, I like the result since I was cheering for them. Why? Do I have some unknown association with Boise State? Nope. For no reason other than I tend to cheer for the underdog. That said, I'm cheering for Ohio State. Why? For not reason other than for some reason, I don't like Florida. Don't really know why, but I just don't. Maybe it's because they beat UCLA last year for the basketball championships (and I can't believe they lost to Oregon, ok, well, I can, but damnit) maybe it's for no reason at all. I don't know. I just don't like Florida.

Oh, and the Rose Bowl. My prediction was WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY off. I was cheering for SC (yes, that's right, I said earlier that I was for the Bruins, but that's basketball; I'm a SC football/Bruin basketball guy) but I was like "no way in HELL would I bet on them." So wrong I was. I did enjoy watching the Trojans romp all over the Wolverines nonetheless.

The resume was done last week and it was sent to career services for an edit/read. Apparently my resume looks fine/good except for some formatting issues. I have more room to work with so my tight margins were unnecessary. Quick fix which I'll take care of later on. Hopefully I get a job with a D.A. that's not totally inconvenient for me. We'll see.

Alright, time to move on to other things. More to come.

still on break

It's starting to get boring. I actually WANT to go back to school, at least I have something to do. Sad ain't it?

Well, most of my books for next semester have been ordered. Thank god we actually got our required books early this time so we can buy them online and save a little instead of making us wait until damn near the last minute and forcing us to pay for the books in the bookstore.

I really need to get working on this resume, I'll do that later today. Hopefully. I totally planned to do it today, but I forgot that the Rose Bowl was today when I made these plans. I'll get it done within the next few days, hopefully within the next 24 hours.

Hmm, what's new? Nothing much. Saw the ex for the first time in a year. Don't plan on ever seeing her again. Maybe I will, but I sure as hell don't plan on it. Eh, if I do I do. If I don't I don't. I just don't care anymore.

Moving on. I think I'm getting over the other one. Still thinking about her, but I don't miss her as much as I did a week or two ago. Then again, I guess I won't really know until I actually see her again next week. Hate to admit it, but I am still looking forward to that. Eh, whatever happens will happen.